DFA's finest brings the disco-not-disco energy. Two hours of machine-driven euphoria on a Thursday night. The kind of show that makes you forget tomorrow exists.

Thu 5 Mar, 20:00 — Corsica Studios

The gallery stays open til 10pm with live performance, sound installations, and a bar in the pavilion. Free entry. Kensington Gardens at night hits different.

Fri 6 Mar, 18:00 — Serpentine Gallery, Kensington Gardens

Noor Murad is cooking a 7-course menu you won't find in any cookbook. 24 seats only. BYOB. Spitalfields upstairs space, communal table.

Fri 6 Mar, 19:30 — Ottolenghi Spitalfields

Meet at Parliament Hill at 5:30am. Guided walk through the ancient woodland as the birds wake up. Bring binoculars. Hot drinks provided.

Sat 7 Mar, 05:30 — Parliament Hill, Hampstead Heath

The Grand Budapest Hotel + The French Dispatch on a narrowboat in Paddington Basin. Blankets, headphones, canal-side bar. Rain or shine.

Sat 7 Mar, 19:00 — Paddington Basin

The Saturday market that doesn't need an Instagram account. Raclette from the cheese stall, Ethiopian coffee, and a dozen things you'll eat before you get home.

Sat 7 Mar, 10:00 — Maltby Street, Bermondsey

Start at Brixton (Market House), end at Walthamstow (God's Own Junkyard afterparty). Seven stops, seven pubs, one night. No rules except: stay on the Victoria line.

Sat 7 Mar, 19:00 — Brixton Station

London's secret tropical garden, hidden inside the Brutalist fortress. Free entry, no booking, just walk in and pretend you're somewhere equatorial.

Sun 8 Mar, 12:00 — Barbican Centre, Level 3

Ghanaian-American pop star in a 200-cap room. This is not happening again once the album drops. Standing only. Doors 8pm.

Mon 9 Mar, 20:00 — Moth Club, Hackney Central

March is technically still winter in London but the heated outdoor pool and wood-fired sauna make it work. Swim under open sky, warm up, repeat. Book the 7am slot for serenity.

Tue 10 Mar, 07:00 — London Fields Lido